I was talking with an administrator of a large university a few months ago. Invariably the conversation moved to the student body and their campus experience which included being away from home for the first time. The interesting thing is that, according to this administrator,  many parents never actually leave their children once they are in college.

Technology has allowed our society to stay connected which can be a great thing no doubt. Email, texting, cell phones, video chat, Facebook are all great ways for families to keep in touch at a moments notice. However, many parents continue to be the helicopter parents they were in grade school and high school. Now it’s just done (in most cases anyway) virtually. 

Helicopter parents often do not know when to land or perhaps do not want to land which would allow their children to fly on their own. The goal of these parents is admirable although misguided in the sense that making the road straight and clear of obstacles seems like the best way to provide their kids with every advantage but in actuality it teaches dependence instead.  These “rocks on the road of life”, these hardships when faced and conquered provide valuable lessons of self-sufficiency, and a mastery of life’s complexities.  It’s one thing to pretend being an adult when you are a kid, it’s quite another when a person handles adult responsibilities that come with actually being one without mom and dad around.

I first experienced the helicopter phenomenon in the late 1980’s as a hiring manager for a large company in California. I received a call from a woman who was looking for a job as a delivery driver. I asked her what kind of work experience she had and she told me that she wasn’t looking for work but she was looking for work for her son.  I was shocked and told her that if he as interested in work that he should give me a call himself. He never called me. Luckily that was the first and last time I encountered a helicopter parent in action in the professional world. Self-advocacy is a required step toward independent adult-hood.